Flexibility. A pressing, reoccuring theme in my life this past year. As I learn how to bend and stretch in the midst of my circumstances, good or bad, I become stronger. When life goes just as planned, we don’t have to flex, we don’t have to rely on anyone.
Finding out I was pregnant 3 weeks after I got married. A beautiful gift, but one that was very hard to process.
Uninvited cancer making it’s presence known in a too-young family members otherwise healthy body.
Coming alongside friends and family as they face divorce, depression, death of family members, heartbreak, eating disorders…
Life can ruin, disappoint, dishearten, dash hope, be meaningless. Life can be dark. It can be scary.
Last week on Saturday morning, life scared me. I woke up, kissed my sweet husband goodbye as he left for work, made pancakes, and pulled the curtains to let in the early morning light as I waited for my baby girl to wake.
As I pulled the curtain, what I discovered left me absolutely speechless. Someone had cut our screen, removed our window slats and entered our home.
My heartbeat became audible as I raced through “what if’s?” and “why’s?”
What if he or she is still in my home?
What if he or she is coming back?
When did they come in, how did we not hear?
I searched the suddenly empty-feeling hallway and triple checked the crevices of my home.
Reese was sound asleep, just as I had left her after her 3am feeding the night before. As I starred at her, I felt tears running down my face.
Drew’s voice on the other end of the phone comforted me as I was taken over by fear, vulnerability, and helplessness.
The next few hours of investigation, talking to loved ones, and discovering that only my computer was taken were a blur.
Drew went back to work after he packed up Reese and I to stay with my folks.
Sunday morning we found out that the thief had reattempted entry into our home, but was unsuccessful.
We decided, after 1 break in and a second attempt, it was time to leave our sweet home.
My last visit to our suddenly old house was an eerie one. My eyes saw fingerprints on my little girls bedroom window and my mind began to replay countless mornings in our kitchen with coffee, Reese beginning to crawl, and extraordinary dinner parties.
A house that I used to feel at home in, comfortable in, safe..was now a house that I didn’t want to spend an extra minute in. When I took our last load of essentials, I didn’t look back.
I am so very thankful for my families safety. I have been holding onto God’s promises and smiling at the future.
I don’t know what I would do without the Lord. His character is counterculture to this world. Life can ruin, disappoint, dishearten, dash hope, be meaningless. Life can be dark. It can be scary. He is not. He is the contrary, and where I find my peace. He makes life meaningful. He brightens up the dark places, He promises eternal life. He is my hope, my meaning. He is the one constant when life is full of questions.
I must become flexible because life, while it is absolutely beautiful, is unpredictable.
Thank you for your prayers as we seek the Lord for what is next. Also, thank you for letting me be real and vulnerable on my blog, it’s an honor to share my life with my readers.