I’m typing softly because I’m in my car and Reese is asleep in the back. These past few days have been full of living in my car. Traveling around town, not feeling like I have anyplace to call home.
As most of my readers know, our sweet little home was broken into a few weeks ago. Forcing us out of our 2nd home together, and into Drew’s folks. The break-in has changed (and still is changing) my thought process on a lot and caused me to be less attached to my stuff, in general. Letting go.
A lot of it has been challenging. When challenge hits, I begin to process…ask questions. What’s going on? Why? What is God trying to teach me through this? My in-laws aren’t only wonderful, they truly surpass greatness and are so very helpful with Reese. The bottom line is, I have a hard time when I don’t have my own space to just be. My own coffee mug, my own sink, bathtub, couch to cuddle in. Familiarity. Warmth. My house. Space for just MY family. While these desires are mostly ordinary (for the United States, anyway),I am beginning to see what God is teaching me.
He has been asking me to check my heart on what’s “mine” and what’s His. What I need/want, my desires. My entitlements.
I have caught myself thinking, more than once…I just want MY own space.
While there is NOTHING wrong, I repeat, nothing wrong with desiring a home or nice things for your family, I have been processing these entitlements and desires. What’s my heart behind it? Am I willing to be flexible? Can I live in JOY with what I have now?
Everything I have is God’s. He has given it to me, every single little thing. It can all be traced back to Him, every single stinking time. Not only are all my things His, all my things are temporary. THEY WON’T LAST. I can’t take them with me. One day they will be outdated, in the garbage, someone else’s, destroyed, etc.
While I cannot wait to move into our new place, I have been challenged to be thankful NOW. When I share a house with my in-laws and drink out of mugs that are not to my taste. When things aren’t just how I want them to be. Once we move in, I hope to remain unattached, in healthy ways. If my new house was taken from me, I would not be devastated..my life would not be over, because It’s not mine and it’s not eternal.
What things are you holding too tightly?