Friends with food

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{Above: The one and only photo from my New Years. We got to stay in a beautiful hotel and spend some time slowing down, it was perfect.}

Being there. A life motif of mine. I have many. Arguably, too many.

From what I’ve experienced, most people metamorphose during their late 20’s. From a greasy, carefree teen who worries about certain unflattering Facebook photos being tagged, into a held-accountable, often-stressed, bill-paying, tired, mature, ADULT.

My transfiguration began when my tummy grew and I brought home a baby. Marriage grew me a bit, but I still was focused on my career, sipping margarita’s with my husband, and keeping the house relatively, sorta clean. Having a baby, on the other hand…whoa. High-time to grow up people!

When I was pregnant, I sarcastically (dead-seriously concerned) asked my girlfriend if I could still blast Britney Spears “Baby One More Time” in my Mini Cooper while hitting 90 mph when I was a mom. She laughed and told me, “I don’t know.” Hmm.

Truth is, I still can. But now I have an SUV, hate speeding, and listen to Baby Einstein by choice. So yeah, about that..

Point is, I grew up. Something pretty cool about growing up is your perspective changes. You realize what matters most. Surprisingly, that tagged photo of me with a huge pimple on my forehead doesn’t really matter. But please, consider asking approval before tagging those ones, seriously!!?!?!

Being there. Being present, it matters, a whole bunch. When folks are having babies, surgery, stuck in a rut, need someone a laugh, need someone to cry with, be excited with… It matters so incredibly much. Don’t expect someone else to be their for them, do it yourself. Most likely, it will mean the world. It’s just like how we assume everyone else is calling the cops when everyone else is assuming the same thing. Call the cops.

I’ll never forget the time I got ungracefully dumped. (He literally came into my house after I had gone to bed, dumped me, and left..LOL, sad!) and my best friend came to my house with 2 huge Mocha Fraps and she sat on my bed. I didn’t even invite her. I probably wouldn’t have. But she came, and it saved me. After one of my hardest days as a new mom (including events like shutting the garage door on my car) my sis-in-law came over with yogurt and sat on my floor with me as I cried. I didn’t invite her either, and my pride wouldn’t have let me. But she saved me too. Friends with food is are better than friends, truth.

One of the not-so-obvious things I am learning from all of this being there stuff is to NOT compare, be jealous, judge, or over-think the situation . Just BE there.

To be excited for my friend who landed a new job (which happened to be my dream job) and not be horribly jealous of her. To be happy for her. To be present in my mind and heart…to authentically rejoice with her.

Being full of JOY with other’s when they feel JOY. Sit in it with them.

Their sad. Be sad with them, ask them what they need. Don’t be thinking about the other things you could be doing.

Everything else can wait when someone is in need. Whether that need is a Winter Dream Tea Latte brought to their front porch, or a hospital visit. Do it. Be there, I dare you.

I hope your New Year was just as you wished it would be.

XO, JH

 

 

 

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