The growing and the uncomfortable

My heart has officially, absolutely, dramatically grown.

The past 10 months have been some of the best.

Trial after trial, lots of tears, being stretched, being uncomfortable, confusion, anger…all of these outdone and outweighed by random shrieks, belly laughs, open-mouthed slobbery kisses, wiggles, in-bed jammie dance parties to T Swift, destroying the kitchen 3 plus times a day with pot holders, tupperware, avocado all over the floor. Eggs and lentils rubbed in hair and ears…everything…all over, all the time. Reading books, park-exploring, waving to every single person.

The Lord is truly majestic, He creates these little people that come in and truly turn your world upside down. He seems to teach me lessons through her.

More than anything, I am learning to be a servant. Not because I always feel like spending my birthday in the doctor’s office, taking care of someone else (cough, Reese, cough cough)…Somedays I would rather go on a hike, hit up swedish heaven at Glen Ivy, drink cucumber margs and eat brownies until the sun goes down.

But that’s not real life. and if it was, I wouldn’t be growing. I wouldn’t have to learn how to sacrificially serve, because I would be living for myself.

Growth is uncomfortable. Growing pains exist far beyond the adolescent years. To embrace the discomfort, or to fight it with everything I have? In the past, I would fight it. Cover the pains of growing and learning with a new purse. With eating a big cheeseburger, or two. With becoming an emotional wreck in order to get attention (my husband knows, I still do this…sometimes 🙂 ). When trial hits now..when something is hard, uncomfortable…I am often able to stop. To look up and shrug my shoulders. To know, deep, deep down that I will be better off in the end. That God can, and will use this.

I thank God for giving me Reese. She makes me laugh at life when I take it too seriously, among other things. Embracing change, embracing growth…still in the thick of it. Thanks for joining me in the process. Muah.

Also, if you want to feel like a million dollars, go to Mothers, order a Beauty Express with added Kale. It’s my current addiction, and I swear, you become dangerously invincible after you pound one of these. Dangerous, people.

JH

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