If having fun was lucrative, I would be a billionaire. I exceed proficiency when it comes to having a good time, truly. I’m captivated by people who can kick back and really celebrate. I’m a faithful fan to laughing without care, going on adventures, a random skydive trip, sippin margaritas with toes in the sand, visiting new places..count me in. All in.
When I was a toddler, I was known as “hoppy” because I literally hopped, skipped and jumped instead of plain ‘ol walking (boring! walking is for the birds!) I wanted to have fun, 24 hours a day.
Not much has changed. My best friend works at the happiest place on earth, for heavens sake.
Good times. I lived for them. Certain times were hard, of course, but I “put my big girl panties on” (I have probably said this 2987975 times in my life) and found the good. Challenge free-stress free-the way to be.
I fell in love with a sexy, tan, ambitious, hilarious, fireman on the beach in Kauai. We moved into a little beach bungalow in Newport.
Things were easy, honestly. They were glamorous and mostly beautiful. Something close to my dreams.
We even joked that things had always gone our way. We couldn’t think of a time we didn’t get what we wanted (don’t worry, we don’t think this anymore and you can smack me on the mouth next time you see me)..
Getting pregnant on our honeymoon changed that. It threw a wrench in everything we knew. Things became difficult. Challenges surfaced like they never had before.What did the future hold? This wasn’t what WE planned..We live in a one bedroom beach house..I want to get my masters, what about our freedom to travel, work on our marriage, have our first few years just us..you get the picture. I wasn’t thrilled.
I feel so selfish even writing those feelings and questions now, but they were real. To tell you otherwise would be a lie.
It’s been a journey. A messy one, but a lovely one. We are still in process, but let me tell you this..
God knows what He is doing.
When my little 10 month old fell asleep in my arms a few nights ago, I was moved deeply, to the point of tears. I whispered the dreams I have for her..
For her to find peace, salvation, and contentment solely in the Lord. To live a life outside of the box, to take risks, to be uncomfortable. To value belief and have the courage to stand up for it. To talk to God honestly. To tell others about Him. God will take care of you, little one.
That the Lord loves unconditionally, people don’t, so find your worth and confidence in Him. That our short time is not about making a name for ourselves, but glorifying the name of God. It’s not about travel or experience, these things are extra and lovely. Loving God and loving people is what it’s all about. Everything else is details.
I imagine the Lord whispering something like that to me.
He truly does take care of us. He doesn’t promise happiness and He doesn’t promise it will be easy. But wow, it’s good. Really good.
(thanks for letting me get nice and sappy)
*A blurry picture, but one of my favorites. An early morning giggle.