I hesitate to let myself be all fired up after a “Jesus” sort of conference…I fear it will seem inauthentic, passing, and “too much” to people who didn’t attend or don’t feel the same. BUT, heck…I long to embrace how I feel at each moment. To be present in my feelings, in my life…in who I am.
To let myself worship hard, hands reaching high, dancing, bouncing; knowing that I will have days where this feeling will be far from me.
I feel so loved by the Lord. I am not overwhelmed by the idea that God loves me, as I have been in the past. I am comforted by it and set free by His love. It’s not a love that is full of guilt or hinging on performance. A lot of earthly love if this way. Sometimes I assume God’s love is given to me when I perform.
I will be lovable on these conditions: ________…
I will be accepted if ________…
I will be enough when _______ happens…
That’s the love the world has to offer me. This is not the love of Christ, o praise Him for that.
He loves me when I curse at the lady in Sprouts parking lot because she CANNOT drive.
Even in that moment…though, he is NOT pleased, He still loves me. His love covers me fully. It’s not only given when I am in church with my hands folded nicely in my lap.
He loves me when I’m selfish. When I forget to thank Him. When I’m a B to my husband…I am enough.
Unconditional love. Out of this acceptance of love will and should come obedience.
It’s not about me. What I do or what I do not do. I accepted Him, and I am His.
It’s about Him. His character, His love. His gift to me. How He has blessed me. Grace from Him.
I have been focusing too much on what I’m doing, how the church is doing. If I feel accepted by christians or not. If I’m “like” them..When all in all, its about Him. He has plans for me and loves me no matter what. It sounds weird, honestly. To have someone love you, inside and out.
Accepting His love, because of who He is, not because who I am.
I will be chewing on this for however long it takes to truly live in His grace. Probably forever. However, today..this moment. I am loved, and so are you.
Loved because He IS LOVE. Perfect love.
His love is patient, kind, it never ends. His love is freedom.
On a lighter note. I have a problem. I can’t meet someone without trying to figure out who they look like. It’s gotten bad. Everyone looks like someone else to me or their personality reminds me of someone else’s and my brain will be in knots until I can figure it out. Does this happen to anyone else?!?!? please say I’m not the only one!!!