The Imperfect Process of Marriage

Visiting a posh bridal boutique to zip up a (gorgeous!) bridesmaid dress for my soon to be sis-in-law’s wedding.
(Jealously) scrolling through a Crate and Barrel registry with hand-picked just-perfect items to fill the home of friends who will say “I do” this weekend.

I disappear in remembering. I blink back tears and feel Andrew’s hand reaching for mine for the very first time. His warm hands found spaces to fill in-between my fingers. When his lips met mine after five long and much needed months of being just friends..the kiss that completely swept me off my feet and caught me completely off guard.

Marriage. Undeserving of the backseat; blurred by babies, jobs, stress, life.

Tina, 31 years married, smiled ear to ear when she said her husbands name.

“Marriage is a sweet and hard journey with your savior and your spouse..”

I leaned back in my chair, held my coffee to warm my hands and sipped it slow to energize my tired body.
I took in the room as I leaned..mama’s holding their babies close, other mama’s thankful for childcare and a little time to themselves. We gather each week to learn and decompress, often an accomplishment just to have put a ponytail in.

Tina told her beautiful love story. Not perfect, but hers. She was honest with her imperfections, “sometimes I don’t feel ______ enough..” she admitted. We all had our word to fill in. Mine was the same as hers. She went on…

Figure out whats going on in your heart before you dump emotions on your husband. Sometimes it’s better to wait so you don’t eat your words.

What would it be like to be married to you?

Be cautious about getting too legalistic with marriage do’s and don’ts. You will become depressed or arrogant if you do so.

Take time to be still and soak God up. During trials, get on your knees and ask God to reveal why you are hurt.

Don’t have an “I deserve this” mentality.

Let your husband know (alone and in public) that he’s the hot one . (and all the men said, amen…!)
Honor your hubby above yourself.

Remember that joy comes when you are satisfied in the Lord. He will take care of you.

Find something that glorifies God that you can do together. She mentioned having people over for dinner and praying for them before they leave. Love that.

And my favorites..

Seek the highest good in Christ for the other person.
Ask yourself, what is eternal and what is temporary…value the eternal above all else.

A few nuggets to chew. Thanks to Tina for these gems. Some of these, I will be processing for the next 50 years. f’real though. So much to learn.

I am reading Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst. You can find it here.

She talks about making progress. Making progress that is imperfect, but progress nonetheless. I often get overwhelmed with things I need to improve. I write lists of lofty goals and find myself looking back, disappointed in myself for not having achieved them. Thanks to Lysa, I am now just going for imperfect progress. Taking baby steps towards my goal. I will fail, but I will get back up and take another step.

Enjoy the process!