This morning, I chose to look the other way as the stacked clean dishes stare at me to be put away and my dog eats my coffee table. Literally. Anyone want a chocolate lab?! Kidding..
God is doing something in my heart and I am so thankful I have this blog to share.
Sometimes my husband and I get to sneak away and do something REALLY exciting. Wait for it..an errand, just us two! Alert the press, Ma and Pa are out on the town! Wassup?!
I steer the car away from our journey to Nordstrom Rack..veering a hard right..to Coffee Bean we go! Like two kids in a candy shop, we order in silence and take our time sipping our sweet holiday drinks. I pay in change because change is still real money..it just takes longer and I don’t know why people get all weird about it.
A real treat, for real. Sometimes when we get to just be “us,” really good stuff happens..like my husband saying extremely profund things about my character development. Sometimes we fight because we haven’t had time to talk about anything for the past 2 weeks straight and we are behind in communication..but not yesterday, not this time. Yesterday, it was life-giving and profound, what he said.
“I think your friends would really benefit, and so would you, if you were more open with your weaknesses and failures,” he said.
I consider myself a very open and honest person, so I became a bit defensive (<<<another thing I'm working on..next blog…). After thinking for a few hours about it, I came to the conclusion that I like to hide the very difficult, because I don’t like it or how it makes me feel. I feel most comfortable when I am positive and happy, which is most of the time. When ish hits the fan though, I hide. I don’t call my friends back. I don’t tell parts of my past that I am ashamed of. I don’t let people in. This is all a part of wanting to be loved and accepted…but maybe, just maybe…I need to show more of me, so that hidden part of me can be loved too.
It’s so important to be real with struggles. Why? Because everyone has them. Even Jennifer Lawrence..at least I think she does. If we pretend they don’t exist, they won’t heal and we cannot grow if we have not healed and been honest in some way.
This is not a one size fits all formula, not many formulas are. Some of us have pasts that we bury because it makes us feel like we have moved on. I am daring myself to expose. Expose the difficult places I find myself. The places where it’s hard to smile. My struggles. Things I want to push down. The sides of me that are underneath.
I will never EVER be a person who stays down in the dumps, but I will strive to be a person who has accepted myself fully. Accepting my past, my hurts, my weaknesses, my strengths alike. They are a part of me and make me who I am today.
So tell your story to someone you trust. Let the whole you shine out and see what God will do with your beautiful transparency.
My prayer for you today is that you break through your surface, just a tiny bit. That you are honest and open to showing different sides of who you are on the innermost. Remembering that God IS love and that He created you and adores you, every single part of you.
A few pictures to catch you up on life the past month. SO busy, SO fun.
Drew and I at a Christmas dinner for my work.
Reese drinking her first “coff” (hot chocolate)
My little brother lives with us now. Reese is so thankful she has a new dance partner in the house Hope you don’t mind me showing off your back! Looks great, btw! 🙂
Reese in a food coma after the Thanksgiving meal with her cousin, Owen. Nice wheels!