When Love Dries Up & A Giveaway


Sweet friends get ready to tie the knot this year, reminding me of my wedding day (and how much has changed since=everything). The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller is a book packed full of wisdom on Marriage. I have been rereading it the past few days.

“In any relationship, there will be frightening spells in which your feelings of love dry up. And when that happens you must remember that the essence of marriage is that it is a covenant, a commitment, a promise of future love. So what do you do? You do the acts of love, despite your lack of feeling. You may not feel tender, sympathetic, and eager to please, but in your actions you must BE tender, understanding, forgiving and helpful. And, if you do that, as time goes on you will not only get through the dry spells, but they will become less frequent and deep, and you will become more constant in your feelings. This is what can happen if you decide to love.”
― Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

I’m a feeler, not a decider. Growing up a total brat (ask my parents), I rarely did something I didn’t feel like doing. Stubborn as all hell.

If my room was spotless, it’s because I wanted it to be, not because I was asked. Yikes.

When I’m at the end of my rope, it looks something like this: Andrew has been working for 72 hours straight and Reese has been sick as a dog. Being an extrovert, staying in all day makes me feel like the world has ended. He comes home and I want to give a thumbs up and run away. Run far, far away to Glen Ivy Hot springs and stay there for a week and a half. I deserve that! The mushy “love” feelings have dried up, so..peace out! Nothing is wrong with getting a break, believe me. But running away because I don’t feel like loving is wrong.

I speak this, decide to love. I don’t love because I feel like it. It’s a decision. Sometimes it feels like putting on a mask. Knowing what I need to do, even thought my insides are saying something completely different. I feel like getting pampered and sippin champagne in a jacuzzi overlooking Laguna Beach, thankuverrymuch. The more I practice pushing through, the deeper my love grows. It’s true, I promise.

Exercise the muscle of pushing through and loving, even when I don’t feel it.

…We must say to ourselves something like this: ‘Well, when Jesus looked down from the cross, he didn’t think “I am giving myself to you because you are so attractive to me.” No, he was in agony, and he looked down at us – denying him, abandoning him, and betraying him – and in the greatest act of love in history, he STAYED. He said, “Father, forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing.” He loved us, not because we were lovely to him, but to make us lovely. That is why I am going to love my spouse.’ Speak to your heart like that, and then fulfill the promises you made on your wedding day.”
― Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

He did it for us, I am so humbled.

Since this book has rocked my understanding of Marriage, I would like you to have a copy too.
Comment below (on the blog please, not on FB) and share your favorite spot to go and rest/recoup. (Your “runaway” spot when things are getting to be too much)..that’s it! I will pick a winner next week!

Good luck and love you all!