Living Beyond Myself

If I documented this non-instagram worthy “setup” as I peck keys, you would scroll through to the next picture as fast as it took you to feel bad for Nikki as Juan Paublo gave her his final rose. One second, if not half a second. I found my mom’s old sweatshirt in the middle of the night to cure my shivering teeth, and it’s backwards. Still is. I can barely stomach a cup of joe these days, so I have a big glass of water to my left on a dusty side-table. SO that’s that.

This past month has been lived locally; 24 something runs to Sprouts down the street, 2 Costco afternoons, lots of planning, attention focused on very special birthday’s; huddled close with family and friends as we remember my father-in-law, who passed away just a short year ago. I shocked my car by hitting the 5 freeway and heading to LA for a venue walkthrough with a sweetheart of a client. When you normally are not in the car alone, being in the car alone is rare-beautiful-lifegiving-too queit-incredible-soul-searching time. I blasted Kari Jobe and worshipped like I had no agenda. O, the simple things.

I drove through the innermost part of Los Angeles and found myself at 5mph, just so I could take it all in. There is SO MUCH going on outside of my little world. I peered down each street and made eye contact with people I felt like I knew; I wanted to bring a a casserole and hear their story. My heart breaks each time I see a shopping cart full of belongings, most of which are honestly garbage. I remember the book I’m reading and Rebekah Lyons who beautifully writes, “Search for the greatest burdens buried in your heart. What makes you cry, what makes you dance? Look for the moments when you feel most afraid or when the injustices you see stir up anger…”

After the meeting, I drove home and was thankful for the little bit of “outside world” I was able to actually see. For the soft, sweet reminder..”It’s not all about me..” There is so much hurt, so much brokenness, so many that need love. So much going on outside of my little world. I am known to take these moments and put pressure on myself to do something insanely risky and not thought out. “I’m moving our family to downtown LA and opening up our home so homeless can shower there..” You know, things like that have been said in the past. (Okay, so who would join me?!?! hypothetically, of course…)

A reminder. It’s not about me, my life is a vapor, a mist. There is so much love to give while I’m here. Not just for my kids and my family..but for God’s people. Love for all people, because they are ALL His. I don’t know what this looks like for you, even for myself, but I know that I can start today. Loving the unloved. Caring for those in my life who need to be shown care. Join me as I ask God to reveal those people to me. Sometimes I get so caught up in my Costco runs and longing for some “me time” that I forget and I can’t even see them. I can’t see the people right next to me.

Embrace your world, today. Get outside with wide eyes and really see it if it’s been a while, who knows what it will stir up.

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