My heart has been heavy with perspective and grieving. The little man who went to heaven this past weekend absolutely rips my heart to tiny shreds. I did not know them, but I have tears for them. Some good information can be found here. I have been holding Reese tighter and embracing the chaos. The moments that make me want to pull my hair out, stepping back…being thankful for life. Seeing things differently, remembering that today is a gift. That it’s okay to cry and be overwhelmed, but ultimately to love. Love is the greatest gift of all.
It’s easy to vanish into our culture. Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, everyone else’s story is right there, out on the table with a filter on; your own story subdued and wearing, or abandoned all together. Your very life morphs into something unrecognizable to you; a cheap, inauthentic version of someone else’s story that fits you like the wrong size of jeans. When I was thirteen, the “cool-rich” kids wore Etnies. While I haven’t seen those coveted puffy skate shoes in a few years, I do see Range Rover’s instead of mini vans and hear about lavish vacations and momma’s who cook fine dining every night and drink champagne by the beach. As I see their life online or from a distance, I let just an ounce of jealousy enter my mind; robbing me from joy of my story. Jealousy, funny thing, takes over like the pesky weeds in the garden…starting so small and harmless. The people God put in my life, the resources He gave me. My unique talents and gifts, His story in me, my story. Also, robbing them of their story by being jealous of it and not rejoicing with them.
In Genesis, it says we are made in the image of God. The ultimate creator of perfection. My prayer today is that my heart and mind are aligned with His life, and the life he blessed me with. That whatever He has for me, I am thankful. That I will look to the right and left to love others and love God, not to compare and not to covet or be ungrateful; to see God’s creation and marvel in the glory.
Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
That no matter if I’m driving a Porsche or a barely running civic; whether my house is rented, big or small, that we are all made in His image and it all goes back in the box anyway. So in the mean time, love God and love people with everything that has been given to me, and do it with intention, passion and love.