God made me a mom super early in my life, for sure, because I was a perfectionist. When things were out of order, I felt a little sick to my stomach (Ha! I can hear you laughing now!). I loved when my nail polish had no chips, bills were paid early, my floor was vacuumed and if things were unplanned, it’s because I planned them that way…thankyouverymuch.
O, how I fought the messiness of motherhood for quite a season. I was tense as I strived for perfectionism, as I was getting pooped and thrown up on. I longed to show the world I was fine and had it all together, even with a colicky baby! Super Mom, that’s me! The thing about being “perfect” is that it’s exhausting to keep up and so very far from reality.
My soul is refreshed when the mess is exposed. When a home has sticky floors and messy-kid faces because this life is messy and it’s meant to be that way and that those are some of the very best life-moments. It’s an honor to me now when people let me see their mess, I actually crave the refreshment of it. The inside places, where things are so far from “perfect,” it’s silly; those are the beautiful places.
Freedom comes when mess is revealed. When her floor is also sticky and she’s reading parenting books too because he is a strong-willed child too. I desire to be messy enough with my time to let people in. My day can be interrupted; my everything can stop when a friend needs some help. My cupcakes might have a little shell in them because I was teaching my two year old to crack on the side of the bowl.
I try to cover up my “stuff” because I think it makes me strong. When life is rough and I share it with those who I trust, strength is right there. The exposed life, being true, accepting, loving, giving. Now, there is nothing wrong with manicured nails, in fact, I think every momma should be able to have a pedi/mani every week (hi babe!)..BUT that is not who we are, we don’t hide behind those nails or that polished floor, amen?!!