4 years of marriage

You know those moments when you have to dig into the depths and hope you can find an extra helping of strength and clarity. You weren’t prepared for this. Not quite what you had imagined, but here you are. You look around and wonder if anyone else feels this way. You pep talk yourself and chose to fight. You say yes to the right thing. You show up. It’s not always easy and it takes some getting your boots muddy and being honest.

I always thought motherhood would come naturally to me. After all, I watched other people’s kids as a nanny (not the same) and loved my little nephews (definitely not the same). Attempting to reason with my threenager can quite honestly put me over the edge.

Marriage starts with a big party. I can do parties, so I was ALL in. Then, it’s not and it’s time for the real marriage stuff to start.

Our 4 years of being married is today and it’s kind of ironic that we aren’t even seeing one another. That I have dirty feet from running around the park with our kids and He is at work so we can have a home. It’s just kind of the way it is and it really looks nothing like I would have thought. You just don’t know that holding hands under blankets in the middle of the night after losing a father will be what marriage is about. That sitting in the backyard with a glass of wine and feet up on the table talking about your dreams would be one of the safest places for your heart. No one can explain to you that when your daughter blows two loud smooches to you every night, you will smile and feel complete down to your toes.

So that’s it. Do it. Say yes to the hard stuff and keep on fighting because it gets really good. IMG_3868

Love to you all.

J

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